Well, we’re approaching the 1 year mark since my husband had his varicocele repair procedure done and I’m feeling pretty anxious about it. I honestly thought that we would be pregnant by now. The urologist felt so confident that the procedure would help and we were told that his count would continue to improve over the course of a year (actually we were told that we could see results in as few as 3 months). We’re starting to consider getting another semen analysis done soon just to see if things have improved. The issue is now we have Kaiser insurance which prevents us from seeing the doctor that initially performed the procedure. The other problem is that our insurance doesn’t cover any infertility treatments.
So basically, even if we find that the procedure didn’t help or if it just so happens that he needs to have another procedure done, insurance wouldn’t cover it. We’re not sure exactly what direction we’re going to go in next. Sometimes I take a step back and everything almost seems surreal. You never imagine that it would be this difficult to have a baby. You get married, think to yourself “oh, we’re going to enjoy our marriage for a little while and then try to have another baby”. Only to find out that it is far from being that simple. Sometimes we think that maybe we should have started trying to conceive immediately after we got married. Then I realize that this situation has been and always will be completely out of our control. This is one of those “I have to trust God completely” situations. There is nothing in our human power that we can do to change the situation.
Even if all things were perfect. Even if my husband’s sperm count was normal, there is still no guarantee that we would be pregnant right now. This is a God thing and I know that I say that ALL the time in my posts, but it is what it is. This is our reality. This is our story. When it’s all said and done, I still believe that God has a plan for our life and I trust his plan.
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 12 In those days when you pray, I will listen. 13 If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.
Jeremiah 29:11-13
Kristen D. Johnson
