Such a hard month…

Well, we’re in the month of February and I will start by saying that I’m not pregnant yet. 🙂 I mean, I started this blog to track my journey through infertility and hopefully one day to even track my journey through pregnancy. I also share a lot about my life in this blog because I feel like I can help someone who may be going through something similar in their life. I never once thought that I would have to share the death of my sister in this journey…but life happens and that’s now a part of my story.

I remember when my sister was first diagnosed with ovarian cancer back in 2011 and I cried and cried. I was the one that had to share the news with my mom and her dad. I had to take her to the hospital on the day of her surgery. When I first found out that they were going to remove her entire reproductive system (hysterectomy), I asked the oncologist if we could possibly save her eggs so that I could be a surrogate for her one day. I would have gladly carried her babies for her. I even spoke to a reproductive specialist about it but they all told me that it would be too risky. I wanted so badly for her to experience the joys of having a child. I wanted the best for her.

So February is both my little brother and my little sister’s birth month. That’s what it will always be associated with for me. My sister was born on February 14, so Valentine’s day will ALWAYS be my sister’s birthday and not just ‘Valentine’s Day’. Since she passed, some days have been harder than others. Some days I feel like I’m finally making some progress in my grieving process and other days, I feel like I’ve taken 10 steps back. I know that this month will be hard for me. I’m thankful for a husband that has been here for me every step of the way. I pray that I will get through this. I trust God to get me through this.

I know this post has been a bit different from my norm, but again, the reason for this is to share my story and part of my life in hopes of helping someone else.