I’m usually really excited about the holiday season but with the recent death of my sister, I’m finding it hard to be excited. She was at my house last Thanksgiving. In the midst of my grief, I wanted so badly to be pregnant so starting my cycle shortly after I received the news was also heart breaking. I thought to myself, surely I will be pregnant this month…they say once a life is gone, another life begins. I guess that new life would begin somewhere else. I thought God would finally answer my prayer…especially after going through something so devastating but that’s just not the way it works. Dealing with losing a loved one is never easy but dealing with grief and the holiday season can sometimes feel unbearable.
Despite how deep this grief is, I trust God. As a matter of fact, I choose to trust him more now than ever before. Who else can I turn to? There isn’t a human on the face of this earth that could comfort me right now. I will still continue to live on as my sister would want me to. We will still work on expanding our family. We won’t give up hope. I will still cook for Thanksgiving as I would every year and we will make the best of everything.
As far as this blog, I will continue to update everyone on our status on TTC (trying to conceive). Hopefully, I can get back in the swing of things with using my Ovacue monitor and taking my temperature. I’m still taking all of my supplements. As a matter of fact, I’ve also added Royal Jelly to my regimen (not sure if I shared that in any of my previous posts). Royal Jelly is just another supplement that helps to balance hormones and I figure with my cycles seeming shorter lately, it wouldn’t hurt to make sure my hormones were balanced. I don’t want to bring it up to a doctor because I don’t want to be put on any artificial supplements. Plus, I don’t think it’s anything significant enough to bring to the doctor’s attention.
Anyway, this post has kind of been all over the place. Sorry, but my thoughts are kind of scattered lately! God bless everyone and I’ll talk to you all soon! 🙂
For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.
James 1:3-4 (NLT)
Kristen D. Johnson
