Lately, I’ve been so consumed with becoming pregnant and all that’s involved in this journey. I feel like 75% of the time, my mind is on myself. Not in a conceited or vain way, but simply thinking about what I can do next to increase my chances of becoming pregnant. Well a couple of days ago my family and I went and fed the homeless in a shelter and it was one of the most fulfilling experiences we’ve ever had. We’ve done this before but I think it really hit home this time and I think it’s because I’ve been so consumed with myself and my problems. I know some people don’t like to hear this or choose not to view life this way but my problems are so minute when I look at the problems of others. Don’t get me wrong, infertility is a HUGE deal but my point is that as a Christian, I MUST learn to take my eyes off of myself and allow God to be God. Worrying and obsessing about something that I can’t change does nothing but frustrate me but in the meantime, I could be using my gifts and talents to help someone else in need. I could even be using my challenges to minister to those going through the same thing. I’m taking my eyes off of myself and learning to help others.
I think the point I’m trying to make here is that sometimes we have to change our perspective if we want to come out victorious. No, changing ones perspective won’t make the problem go away, but for me, it seemed to soften the blow. Luke 9:23 says this: “Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.” (NIV)
Another translation says “Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat—I am. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you?” (MSG)
As a Jesus follower, I have to take my eyes off of myself…that is what this verse is telling me. This was Jesus talking to his disciples and I consider myself a disciple (follower of Christ) so why would my instructions be any different. This was a powerful revelation for me. One that I will have to constantly remind myself of…or one that I will have to depend on the Holy Spirit to remind me of daily. I’m thankful for this revelation and I hope it will help someone else who’s going through struggles that are similar to mine.
Kristen D. Johnson
