All of you women who are trying to become pregnant or have in the past, may know what symptom spotting is. Symptom spotting is that act of taking every little symptom and change your body is going through and making it out to be a “early pregnancy symptom”. This is also a guaranteed way to drive yourself insane but you can’t stop yourself from doing it. Sounds awesome, doesn’t it? Anyway, so yeah, I symptom spot during the entire dreaded TWW (two week wait) and I hate that I do it but I can’t stop!
Today it seems as though my BBT (basal body temperature) has dropped and according to the pregnancy experts, a drop in your temperature means that your menstrual cycle is on it’s way. So you find yourself becoming disappointed before anything even happens. This is a vicious cycle but one that’s hard to break free from. Even with my temperature dropping, I find myself saying “But God, this doesn’t mean anything. I could still be pregnant. You want me to have hope. You want me to have faith, right?” I know the answers to all of those questions. Yes, God wants me to have hope. He is my hope. He also wants me to have faith…in Him and His timing. So with that being said, this may or may not be my time. Only time will tell.
In the meantime, my husband (Stanley) is still taking this clomid. I figured you all should know his name instead of me continuing to refer to him as “my husband”. He says that he’s starting to feel some effects of the clomid. His moods are kind of all over the place and he never feels that way. We’ll see how it goes but he’ll probably stop taking it soon. When it’s all said and done, no medicine or “method” can dictate God’s plan. So if it’s our time to be pregnant, we will be whether he takes the clomid or not.
I am reminded of the below verse. I’m sure I’ve shared it at some point or another, but it always resonates.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
Kristen D. Johnson
