I start cramping and I think, “well maybe this could be the month”. I hear about so many women getting cramps in early pregnancy or when implantation takes place. I even hear that you could spot during implantation and it’s called “implantation bleeding”.This means that I’m not out as of yet. These symptoms are so hard to deal with sometimes! I’ve gotten to a point where I won’t discuss any symptoms with my husband because I don’t want him to get his hopes up. I wake up every morning and touch my boobs to see if they feel tender. I’ve never really payed any attention to my premenstrual symptoms until now.
Since I “feel” like my period is about to start, I decided to go ahead and make an appointment with the RE. A part of me hopes that I will get a positive pregnancy test and will be able to cancel that appointment. If I don’t get a positive pregnancy test, I’m hoping that they are able to start doing tests immediately. I want to be able to get the ball rolling right away. Sometimes I tend to have issues with anxiety and this is especially true as I walk through this journey. I try to make sure I remind myself what the bible says about anxiety. Philippians 4:6-7 says ” Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
I must remain positive throughout this entire process, no matter how difficult it may seem. There’s a reason for everything and even though the reason may not be revealed to you immediately, you have to trust the process. I am trying my best to trust the process right now. I am trusting in God and remembering his promises…
Kristen D. Johnson
